Charlie has learned some new things the past couple of days. It's really amazing how all of a sudden he's doing new things. Charlie's really started being more vocal. More dadada's and bababa's. And those sounds are getting loud! And to my excitement, I started hearing mamama's on Saturday. That was fun!
Kathy Moore bought Charlie an activity toy that has a spiral ramp that you put a ball on and it rolls down and comes out the bottom. Charlie got to play with this for the first time the other night when they kept him for our date night. He was having fun with it but hadn't quite figured it out. She sent it home with us and we've been playing with it ever since. The fun part is that Charlie has learned to pick up the ball, put it in the top, let go of it, and then pick it up at the bottom again. That just astonishes me! It stands up about 2 feet tall so Charlie's been trying to pull up on it too.
It's just fun to watch Charlie figure things out. It's just you keep trying something with him for a while and then all of a sudden, he's got it. Like, we've been trying to get Charlie to do pattycake. He'll reach and clap our hands together but won't clap his own hands together. Sunday night, at church, he was turned around facing the pew behind us - flirting, of course. He was leaning against my shoulder. I glanced back to see what he was doing and I saw him clap his hands together. I haven't seen him do that until then so I know it's just a matter of time...
Another feat that's exciting is that Charlie is now feeding himself. We've been working with him to eat Cheerios on his own but was thrown in on Sunday when we were invited to lunch after church. I always plan ahead, in case we get this invitation, by packing Charlie a lunch. But for some reason I decided not to this time. And, of course, we got the invitation. I was sure to order something off the menu that I could feed to Charlie. I ordered a fried chicken salad. He loves to eat chicken and I knew he could eat the tomatoes and cheese as well. We were waiting on our lunch to come by feeding Charlie Cheerios and various other things off the appetizer plates. He was picking up the Cheerios and eating them so when our food came, I put him in his high chair and put bits of food in front of him. He reached for them, picked them up and ate them! We were amazed and excited! Most of it landed in his lap, but, hey, atleast he was making the effort. He ate dinner this way as well! So, each meal, I try and have something for him to pick up and eat. Tonight, we had cheesy chicken with noodles and green beans so I gave him bits of that as well as diced pieces of a peach. He gobbled them up! I took a video to remember to occasion. I was just excited that I got to eat my dinner before it got cold! :)
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
lesson 3
Here is Lesson 3 from my teen girls class on Wednesday nights. I'm using a book called "Can I Afford Time for Friendships?" by Stormie Omartian, Ruth Senter & Colleen Evans.
Girls Teen Class – Spring 2008
Lesson 3
Shared faith plays an important role in our deepest friendships. As Christians, I believe our relationships should be consecrated to the Lord and bring glory to God. That’s a difficult order to fill when one friend believes and the other doesn’t.
While we can have non-Christian friends, we must realize that we’ll carry with us a continual ache in our hearts for them. If we truly hope to bring glory to God through friendship, then we’ll want the best for our friend – to know Jesus. If we really care for a friend, we’ll be concerned about where he/she is going to spend eternity.
If you share anything of the Lord with a non-Christian, in some way it touches them. If not now, one day that friend will see Christ shining through. A Christian who is friends with a non-Christian can positively touch that person’s life. Plus, you may be the only Christian influence in that person’s life. That means the only way they will come in contact with Christ is through you. I know that’s a big responsibility but that’s the beauty of having the Holy Spirit with you. Sometimes, it’s just your example that sparks an interest in the Lord. They may get curious as to why you do/don’t do certain things. This gives you the perfect opportunity to show the Lord to them and tell them what a difference He makes in your life.
Now, all this isn’t to say our only reason for maintaining friendships with non-Christians is to bring them into the kingdom. Not all friendships will lead to someone accepting Christ. But a natural progression of caring for someone will be concern for his/her salvation.
Non-believers help us keep our evangelism tools sharp because they ask questions about our faith that challenge us to reevaluate exactly where we stand. If you find someone you like who isn’t a Christian, don’t shy away from a friendship with them. Accept the challenge that this kind of friendship can offer. As your relationship develops you can bless your friend with your love, kindness, and knowledge of the goodness of the Lord.
Friendships with non-Christians will always challenge us to grow. I know mine have. If you’ve ever been in a conversation about spiritual things with a friend, you quickly have to learn patience and perseverance. However, my love for them grew in the process. When these types of traits are evident in a friendship, then the relationship brings glory to the Lord. But, if friendship with a non-Christian doesn’t exhibit any of these traits, perhaps it’s time to stop and examine your motives for the friendship.
When it comes to relationships with non-Christians, we need to use discretion and discernment. What do these two words mean? Discretion – “Ability or power to decide responsibly”; “the trait of judging wisely and objectively.” Discernment – “The act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment.” Now, such friendships can be rewarding, but we need to be especially prayerful about whom we befriend. If you’re in a situation where most of your friends are non-Christian, you have to be careful not to compromise what you know is right. Let’s read Romans 12:2:
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
As Christians, we walk a fine line in our friendships with non-Christians. We want to hold to what is right, yet not appear to be judgmental. We want to show love, not legalism. We must live what we believe and not allow unrighteousness or impurity into our lives because when we do, it begins to erode our Christian walk in subtle ways. What are some ways you think this could happen?
Here’s how I think you should gauge your friendships. If you are a godly influence in your friend’s life, the friendship is good. If she is an ungodly influence in your life, you’d be better off to find another friendship in which God is glorified. Now, in school, that can be a tough task if you find yourself in the latter situation. Your group of friends is pretty well defined and it’s hard to change that. However, you can reverse that situation so that you are the godly influence with a little perseverance and prayer on your part.
From the book I am reading for this class, the author gave a personal example that I wanted to read to you:
“My friend Vickie experienced the subtle pull of a non-Christian friend shortly after she joined the church. As a young, single woman, Vickie got involved with a handsome man. He appeared to be good “marriage material,” but it soon became evident her relationship with this man wasn’t bringing glory to God. The man pulled her away from church, away from God. But Vickie was blinded – she couldn’t see beyond this man’s good looks and smooth talk. Her heart became hard to the things of God, and one Sunday when the congregation was moved to tears by the message, she said, “I didn’t get a thing out of the sermon.” I ached for her. Gradually, she stopped going to church, and soon after that her life fell apart and she became physically sick. When her boyfriend eventually left her, she hit bottom and came back to the Lord. I asked her to examine the fruit of that relationship. “Think about all that happened to you,” I said. “Did he lead you closer to God or further away?””
In our friendships with non–Christians we need to assess the fruit that grows out of the relationship. What positive qualities or traits are we developing because of our friendship? Take a minute and think about the friendships you have right now. Does that person lead you closer to God or further away?
Now, I don’t want to spend the whole class talking about non-Christian friends. We should strive for those deepest and closest friendships to be with fellow believers. Let’s read Proverbs 27:17:
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
What does this verse say or mean in terms of friendships? It means that we have the ability to sharpen one another. We each provide positive input into each other’s lives. Our friendship strengthens our individual walk with God, and together we help each other overcome emotional hurts that keep us from experiencing the fullness of God’s love.
As we talked about last week, we need different people to fulfill different needs in our lives. The same goes for our spiritual needs. We need to be searching for people who strengthen/sharpen our lives as well as looking for people who we can strengthen/sharpen their lives. It’s important to strike a balance between friends who can further lead us in our faith and friends whom we can help lead.
If you’re surrounded by non-Christians and that’s the pool you have for making friendships, ask the Lord for a Christian friend. He’ll provide you one. Whether it’s one of the girls in this class or elsewhere, if you ask He will provide. He’s been known to bring things out of places you never expect.
When you become a Christian, many of your non-Christian friends will desert you. They think you’ve lost your mind by turning to what they perceive as all these rules of things you can’t do. They may also begin to look at their lives and realize that they aren’t living the Christian way and being around you makes them feel guilty. There’s a multitude of reasons. However, again, in this situation, if you ask God for Christian friends, He will bring the finest.
A common faith offers a strong foundation for friendship because it unites you with another person on every level of your being. While friendships with non-Christians are possible, and even important, they will never be complete. These friendships may be meeting many of your needs, but, as a growing Christian, it’s vital that our deepest bonds be with those who share our faith.
Girls Teen Class – Spring 2008
Lesson 3
Shared faith plays an important role in our deepest friendships. As Christians, I believe our relationships should be consecrated to the Lord and bring glory to God. That’s a difficult order to fill when one friend believes and the other doesn’t.
While we can have non-Christian friends, we must realize that we’ll carry with us a continual ache in our hearts for them. If we truly hope to bring glory to God through friendship, then we’ll want the best for our friend – to know Jesus. If we really care for a friend, we’ll be concerned about where he/she is going to spend eternity.
If you share anything of the Lord with a non-Christian, in some way it touches them. If not now, one day that friend will see Christ shining through. A Christian who is friends with a non-Christian can positively touch that person’s life. Plus, you may be the only Christian influence in that person’s life. That means the only way they will come in contact with Christ is through you. I know that’s a big responsibility but that’s the beauty of having the Holy Spirit with you. Sometimes, it’s just your example that sparks an interest in the Lord. They may get curious as to why you do/don’t do certain things. This gives you the perfect opportunity to show the Lord to them and tell them what a difference He makes in your life.
Now, all this isn’t to say our only reason for maintaining friendships with non-Christians is to bring them into the kingdom. Not all friendships will lead to someone accepting Christ. But a natural progression of caring for someone will be concern for his/her salvation.
Non-believers help us keep our evangelism tools sharp because they ask questions about our faith that challenge us to reevaluate exactly where we stand. If you find someone you like who isn’t a Christian, don’t shy away from a friendship with them. Accept the challenge that this kind of friendship can offer. As your relationship develops you can bless your friend with your love, kindness, and knowledge of the goodness of the Lord.
Friendships with non-Christians will always challenge us to grow. I know mine have. If you’ve ever been in a conversation about spiritual things with a friend, you quickly have to learn patience and perseverance. However, my love for them grew in the process. When these types of traits are evident in a friendship, then the relationship brings glory to the Lord. But, if friendship with a non-Christian doesn’t exhibit any of these traits, perhaps it’s time to stop and examine your motives for the friendship.
When it comes to relationships with non-Christians, we need to use discretion and discernment. What do these two words mean? Discretion – “Ability or power to decide responsibly”; “the trait of judging wisely and objectively.” Discernment – “The act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment.” Now, such friendships can be rewarding, but we need to be especially prayerful about whom we befriend. If you’re in a situation where most of your friends are non-Christian, you have to be careful not to compromise what you know is right. Let’s read Romans 12:2:
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
As Christians, we walk a fine line in our friendships with non-Christians. We want to hold to what is right, yet not appear to be judgmental. We want to show love, not legalism. We must live what we believe and not allow unrighteousness or impurity into our lives because when we do, it begins to erode our Christian walk in subtle ways. What are some ways you think this could happen?
Here’s how I think you should gauge your friendships. If you are a godly influence in your friend’s life, the friendship is good. If she is an ungodly influence in your life, you’d be better off to find another friendship in which God is glorified. Now, in school, that can be a tough task if you find yourself in the latter situation. Your group of friends is pretty well defined and it’s hard to change that. However, you can reverse that situation so that you are the godly influence with a little perseverance and prayer on your part.
From the book I am reading for this class, the author gave a personal example that I wanted to read to you:
“My friend Vickie experienced the subtle pull of a non-Christian friend shortly after she joined the church. As a young, single woman, Vickie got involved with a handsome man. He appeared to be good “marriage material,” but it soon became evident her relationship with this man wasn’t bringing glory to God. The man pulled her away from church, away from God. But Vickie was blinded – she couldn’t see beyond this man’s good looks and smooth talk. Her heart became hard to the things of God, and one Sunday when the congregation was moved to tears by the message, she said, “I didn’t get a thing out of the sermon.” I ached for her. Gradually, she stopped going to church, and soon after that her life fell apart and she became physically sick. When her boyfriend eventually left her, she hit bottom and came back to the Lord. I asked her to examine the fruit of that relationship. “Think about all that happened to you,” I said. “Did he lead you closer to God or further away?””
In our friendships with non–Christians we need to assess the fruit that grows out of the relationship. What positive qualities or traits are we developing because of our friendship? Take a minute and think about the friendships you have right now. Does that person lead you closer to God or further away?
Now, I don’t want to spend the whole class talking about non-Christian friends. We should strive for those deepest and closest friendships to be with fellow believers. Let’s read Proverbs 27:17:
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
What does this verse say or mean in terms of friendships? It means that we have the ability to sharpen one another. We each provide positive input into each other’s lives. Our friendship strengthens our individual walk with God, and together we help each other overcome emotional hurts that keep us from experiencing the fullness of God’s love.
As we talked about last week, we need different people to fulfill different needs in our lives. The same goes for our spiritual needs. We need to be searching for people who strengthen/sharpen our lives as well as looking for people who we can strengthen/sharpen their lives. It’s important to strike a balance between friends who can further lead us in our faith and friends whom we can help lead.
If you’re surrounded by non-Christians and that’s the pool you have for making friendships, ask the Lord for a Christian friend. He’ll provide you one. Whether it’s one of the girls in this class or elsewhere, if you ask He will provide. He’s been known to bring things out of places you never expect.
When you become a Christian, many of your non-Christian friends will desert you. They think you’ve lost your mind by turning to what they perceive as all these rules of things you can’t do. They may also begin to look at their lives and realize that they aren’t living the Christian way and being around you makes them feel guilty. There’s a multitude of reasons. However, again, in this situation, if you ask God for Christian friends, He will bring the finest.
A common faith offers a strong foundation for friendship because it unites you with another person on every level of your being. While friendships with non-Christians are possible, and even important, they will never be complete. These friendships may be meeting many of your needs, but, as a growing Christian, it’s vital that our deepest bonds be with those who share our faith.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
date night
Daniel and I got another date night tonight. Since Morgan, the daughter of Terry and Kathy Moore, is home from college for spring break, they wanted to keep Charlie while we went out. Kathy's been trying to find a time to do this for weeks but we just haven't been able to find a night that works for all of us.
We dropped Charlie off at the Moore's for a night of fun. Daniel and I went to a new restaurant here in Kennesaw at the McCollum airport called Elevations Chophouse. It was a good restaurant. The food was good but not quite worth the price. The restaurant sits right off the runway so you get to watch the planes land and take off. That part was neat but there wasn't much traffic on the runway. We did enjoy our time there and our time together. The best part of our night was going by Steak N Shake and getting chocolate milkshake! Yum!
I really enjoyed the night and will definitely have to utilize my babysitters more often! From the looks of it, Charlie had a great time too!
We dropped Charlie off at the Moore's for a night of fun. Daniel and I went to a new restaurant here in Kennesaw at the McCollum airport called Elevations Chophouse. It was a good restaurant. The food was good but not quite worth the price. The restaurant sits right off the runway so you get to watch the planes land and take off. That part was neat but there wasn't much traffic on the runway. We did enjoy our time there and our time together. The best part of our night was going by Steak N Shake and getting chocolate milkshake! Yum!
I really enjoyed the night and will definitely have to utilize my babysitters more often! From the looks of it, Charlie had a great time too!
Friday, March 21, 2008
the gang's all here!
Tonight we got together with a couple of friends from my previous job at CDH. Both Chris and Jonathan are still working there. I got really close to these two along with one other girl while working there. (Miss you Shelley!) We've tried to keep up our movie nights since I left. It's just our time to hang since we don't get to at work anymore. Also, both Chris and Jonathan have recently had additions to their families. Jonathan's wife, Joanna, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, named Jasmine, in December. Chris' wife, Janet, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, named Katelyn, in January. So, we've got other reasons for getting together now too.
This movie night was the first of three. We watched the first Indiana Jones movie. We hope to get all three in before the fourth comes out in May. We had a great time just hanging out and talking. We passed kids around and oohed and aahed and laughed at all three. Here's a picture of Jonathan, me and Chris with the new little ones. Aren't they cute!?! (I'm talking about the babies!)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
welcome spring!
I love springtime. I love to see everything turn green from the dead sticks of winter. I love to plant things in the ground and nurture them in hopes that they will bloom/grow so beautifully. However, due to our watering ban (droughts are no fun!) and budget constraints on a one-income household, I've had to put the green thumb in my pockets for a while. But, lucky for me, I planted some perennials a couple of years ago and these plants, no matter how much or how little water they've gotten, always bloom in the spring. Here are my little green sprouts:
I also have a bed that appears to be barren for most of the year. But around February these little green sprouts pop up and by March, they are the most beautiful daffodils. Unfortunately, they only bloom for a couple of weeks. When we moved into this house, which was in July, this bed, as I said, looked like just a pile of dirt. I had intended to, the next spring, plant some flowers in it but lo and behold, the daffodils, fortunately, popped up before I could get to the bed. These make great pictures!
I also have a bed that appears to be barren for most of the year. But around February these little green sprouts pop up and by March, they are the most beautiful daffodils. Unfortunately, they only bloom for a couple of weeks. When we moved into this house, which was in July, this bed, as I said, looked like just a pile of dirt. I had intended to, the next spring, plant some flowers in it but lo and behold, the daffodils, fortunately, popped up before I could get to the bed. These make great pictures!
lesson 2
Girls Teen Class – Spring 2008
Lesson 2
Do you have one person in your life that you can share anything and everything with? One, who, when spending time with him/her, you lose all track of time because you are so absorbed in talking with him/her?
How do we develop these close intimate friendships? The primary ingredient for any relationship to develop from a casual acquaintance into a close, intimate friendship is a step we must choose to take. Once the foundation of a friendship is formed and a certain level of trust exists, we must allow ourselves to grow increasingly transparent by revealing more about ourselves over time. In a sense, you test the waters. You don’t suddenly jump in, totally unveil yourself and say, “Here I am; take me or leave me.” Rather, bit-by-bit we reveal ourselves to them and vice versa. As you share your inner thoughts and feelings, if what you say is accepted, you take another step and them another. Intimacy in friendship is a process.
While being transparent is important, sometimes people make the mistake of revealing too much too fast. I mean, how would you feel if I came to you and unloaded all my most intimate problems and worries on you in one conversation? One, you would probably be exhausted. Two, I’m not close enough to any of you to do that. So, wouldn’t our relationship be a little lopsided?
Wouldn’t you feel the need to be a counselor rather than a friend? Do you have friendships like this now? Don’t they just wear you out?
On rare occasions, you might develop a close relationship with someone in a short amount of time. There’s just a chemistry and something clicks. More often than not, though, these friendships take time to develop. Just as a friendship requires quality time together, the quantity of time together counts as well. You need to see each other with some degree of regularity because without consistent contact you can find yourself sharing only superficial news when you do meet. While surface talk is important, if all your time is spent catching up on the details of like then that leaves little time for sharing nitty-gritty feelings. I feel this way with most of you. It’s “how is school?” ; “cute shoes” ; etc. I don’t know any of you well enough to say “so, how is your family life?” or even “how is your spiritual life?”. I mean would you feel comfortable asking me these things. You’re probably going to ask me how Charlie is doing, right? The bigger question is would you feel comfortable asking each other these things?
We could probably be satisfied with knowing a lot about a person, but for a truly intimate friendship, we need to go to that soul-searching level of knowledge. The place that requires self-revelation of our real thoughts and feelings. This is a hard level to reach and it takes lots of work, persistence, and patience.
However, reaching this level with someone and being transparent requires you to take a risk. When we reveal ourselves as we truly are there is the chance we will be rejected because of what we say and, consequently, we may be hurt by that rejection. We stop ourselves from being transparent because we think “if they know how I really feel, they possibly won’t like me or love me.” We hold our thoughts inside when we question a friend’s loyalty and trust. Do you have friends that you hold back with because you feel you can’t trust them? I have friends that I don’t tell private things with because I’m afraid that she will blab and the whole world will know. That’s a friend that I will never have a deep intimate relationship with because I can’t trust her. That doesn’t mean I stop loving her or associating with her. We just have a different type of friendship.
I’ve been hurt by friendships. I’m sure all of you have at some point. In those cases, you just have to forgive, move on, and pray that God will give you better judgment next time and lead you to people you can trust.
If you’re a Christian, one comfort in these times is that your self-image doesn’t rest on one person rejecting or accepting you. Rather, our self-image – our security – is in Christ. The fact that He created us, loves us and values us and that these facts will never change – now that’s security. We can also trust that God will help us move beyond our pain if we look to Him. Even good friends have misunderstandings and experience pain. We must learn to trust God with all our emotions, knowing that then we do get hurt He is big enough to heal us. We are all going to be hurt at some point – it goes with the territory. If you take the risk of caring, you take the risk of being hurt. But God can heal the hurt and enable us to forgive and move on.
You have so much to gain, though, when you take the risk of being transparent. I wouldn’t want all my relationships to only exist on a superficial level. We can choose to avoid risk and rejection but the price is often a lonely and empty life. Can you imagine your life without your closest friends?
It takes courage to risk and to trust – especially when you’ve been hurt a few times. But I don’t believe God intended for us to shirk back from this simply because we’re scared of being hurt. He commands us to bear each other’s burdens. Let’s read Galatians 6 : 1-5:
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.
Well, how can you carry each other’s burdens unless you are close enough to that person to know what those burdens are?
God created us with an innate desire for relationships so that we could give expression to the love we feel. Do you have one person whom you can pour out your heart to? If not, then make this a priority in your life. Ask God to show you why you don’t have that one special friend. Are you not willing to be transparent? Are you not giving enough time to take that friendship to that next level? Are you not willing to give-and-take?
Even if by nature you are very reserved and quiet, there will most likely be one person who can pull you out of your shell. With the right person, each of us has the ability to be transparent. What we need is confidence that if our eyes and hearts are open, God will bring the right people into our lives.
Lesson 2
Do you have one person in your life that you can share anything and everything with? One, who, when spending time with him/her, you lose all track of time because you are so absorbed in talking with him/her?
How do we develop these close intimate friendships? The primary ingredient for any relationship to develop from a casual acquaintance into a close, intimate friendship is a step we must choose to take. Once the foundation of a friendship is formed and a certain level of trust exists, we must allow ourselves to grow increasingly transparent by revealing more about ourselves over time. In a sense, you test the waters. You don’t suddenly jump in, totally unveil yourself and say, “Here I am; take me or leave me.” Rather, bit-by-bit we reveal ourselves to them and vice versa. As you share your inner thoughts and feelings, if what you say is accepted, you take another step and them another. Intimacy in friendship is a process.
While being transparent is important, sometimes people make the mistake of revealing too much too fast. I mean, how would you feel if I came to you and unloaded all my most intimate problems and worries on you in one conversation? One, you would probably be exhausted. Two, I’m not close enough to any of you to do that. So, wouldn’t our relationship be a little lopsided?
Wouldn’t you feel the need to be a counselor rather than a friend? Do you have friendships like this now? Don’t they just wear you out?
On rare occasions, you might develop a close relationship with someone in a short amount of time. There’s just a chemistry and something clicks. More often than not, though, these friendships take time to develop. Just as a friendship requires quality time together, the quantity of time together counts as well. You need to see each other with some degree of regularity because without consistent contact you can find yourself sharing only superficial news when you do meet. While surface talk is important, if all your time is spent catching up on the details of like then that leaves little time for sharing nitty-gritty feelings. I feel this way with most of you. It’s “how is school?” ; “cute shoes” ; etc. I don’t know any of you well enough to say “so, how is your family life?” or even “how is your spiritual life?”. I mean would you feel comfortable asking me these things. You’re probably going to ask me how Charlie is doing, right? The bigger question is would you feel comfortable asking each other these things?
We could probably be satisfied with knowing a lot about a person, but for a truly intimate friendship, we need to go to that soul-searching level of knowledge. The place that requires self-revelation of our real thoughts and feelings. This is a hard level to reach and it takes lots of work, persistence, and patience.
However, reaching this level with someone and being transparent requires you to take a risk. When we reveal ourselves as we truly are there is the chance we will be rejected because of what we say and, consequently, we may be hurt by that rejection. We stop ourselves from being transparent because we think “if they know how I really feel, they possibly won’t like me or love me.” We hold our thoughts inside when we question a friend’s loyalty and trust. Do you have friends that you hold back with because you feel you can’t trust them? I have friends that I don’t tell private things with because I’m afraid that she will blab and the whole world will know. That’s a friend that I will never have a deep intimate relationship with because I can’t trust her. That doesn’t mean I stop loving her or associating with her. We just have a different type of friendship.
I’ve been hurt by friendships. I’m sure all of you have at some point. In those cases, you just have to forgive, move on, and pray that God will give you better judgment next time and lead you to people you can trust.
If you’re a Christian, one comfort in these times is that your self-image doesn’t rest on one person rejecting or accepting you. Rather, our self-image – our security – is in Christ. The fact that He created us, loves us and values us and that these facts will never change – now that’s security. We can also trust that God will help us move beyond our pain if we look to Him. Even good friends have misunderstandings and experience pain. We must learn to trust God with all our emotions, knowing that then we do get hurt He is big enough to heal us. We are all going to be hurt at some point – it goes with the territory. If you take the risk of caring, you take the risk of being hurt. But God can heal the hurt and enable us to forgive and move on.
You have so much to gain, though, when you take the risk of being transparent. I wouldn’t want all my relationships to only exist on a superficial level. We can choose to avoid risk and rejection but the price is often a lonely and empty life. Can you imagine your life without your closest friends?
It takes courage to risk and to trust – especially when you’ve been hurt a few times. But I don’t believe God intended for us to shirk back from this simply because we’re scared of being hurt. He commands us to bear each other’s burdens. Let’s read Galatians 6 : 1-5:
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.
Well, how can you carry each other’s burdens unless you are close enough to that person to know what those burdens are?
God created us with an innate desire for relationships so that we could give expression to the love we feel. Do you have one person whom you can pour out your heart to? If not, then make this a priority in your life. Ask God to show you why you don’t have that one special friend. Are you not willing to be transparent? Are you not giving enough time to take that friendship to that next level? Are you not willing to give-and-take?
Even if by nature you are very reserved and quiet, there will most likely be one person who can pull you out of your shell. With the right person, each of us has the ability to be transparent. What we need is confidence that if our eyes and hearts are open, God will bring the right people into our lives.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
girls' class
I've started teaching the teen girls' class again at church on Wednesday nights. I gave them a choice of class topics and this one won. It's a class on friendship. I'm using a book called "Can I Afford Time for Friendships?" by Stormie Omartian, Ruth Senter & Colleen Evans. I thought I would post my lessons again for anyone interested. I only have about 30 minutes to teach so it's a short lesson and is pretty much my intro lesson for the quarter.
Girls Teen Class – Spring 2008
Lesson 1
Friends. Where would we be without those special people in our lives that share our joys and sorrows, support and encourage us, understand us, and accept us unconditionally?
It has been said, “To have a good friend is one of the highest delights of life; to be a good friend is one of the noblest and most difficult undertakings.” While friendship can be filled with many joys, it can present its share of challenges as well. It doesn’t just happen - it takes effort and time.
While we might have learned the basics of friendship in kindergarten – don’t hit, share your toys, be nice – as adults we can attest that relationships involve more than following a few simple rules. God designed us with certain nurturing and relational gifts. Our need for friendship is much deeper than us just needing someone to play with like we did when we were kids. Even as teens you feel a strong need for friends.
Let’s read Proverbs 18:24:
“There are ‘friends’ who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
How do we develop those friendships like the one described in Proverbs? Are they going to seek us out? Maybe. More than likely, no. We must make friendship a priority and reach out to find those friends.
But, what is a good friend? Let’s read 1 Samuel 20. This is the story of David and Jonathan. I think this example is always used when discussing friendship but it’s a great story. A little background…David is fighting the Philistines for King Saul. David has found favor with the Lord and has been very successful in his battles. Saul at first is pleased and loves David. However, the people start chanting about Saul killing thousands and David killing tens of thousands. Saul becomes angry and wishes to kill David. So David flees. Now let’s read the rest of the story.
What are some characteristics of this friendship? Honesty, loyalty, love, respect, selflessness.
There are three actions we should remember when building genuine friendships: know, care and remember.
As we spend time with a person we naturally get to know them – we share our personal history, our birthday, our interests, etc. You have to care about this person to want to get to know them. And with the knowledge we have about them, we can then make an effort to remember those things that matter to that person. Remembering is often the hard part. When you remember, it shows you care.
Besides these intentional actions, we must realize that friendship is a two-way street. There has to be a mutual interest on both sides for this friendship to grow and develop. It can’t be lopsided. Each person in the friendship must be able to lean on the other – the nurturing attitude must go both ways. There are times when one person needs the other more – such as in times of crisis, so in that regard the friendship might be lopsided temporarily. But, in general, over time there needs to be a more equal amount of give-and-take in the friendship.
Now, what are some ways we can get to know a person and show we care?
One of the most important ways to do this is to listen. However, listening is most successful when we are able to lay ourselves aside. It takes discipline to put another person first and actually pay attention to the things they are saying.
Take for example, when you meet someone new. You are trying to make a good impression. During the conversation, we’re often thinking of what we we’ll say next. So, the person isn’t getting our full attention. We aren’t really listening and as a result we can’t remember what that person said. So, are you guilty of having trouble remembering the things said because you are too busy thinking about yourself and how you are being perceived? Are you more concerned about being perceived as a good friend or listener or are you actually being a friend and truly listening to the things being said?
Putting yourself second is a spiritual discipline of sorts. It’s a tough road to focus on the other person. God intended for us to serve others.
Let’s look at some expectations we should have of our friends or they should have from us:
A friend accepts you for who you are – she isn’t out to change you. We all have shortcomings but as friends, we should be willing to overlook them. However, honesty is important, and we shouldn’t overlook a fault it if it hindering our friend’s walk with Christ. Hopefully, you are close enough to that person to speak the truth in love. The main work of a friendship is not to fix one another but to affirm and encourage one another.
A friend accepts us unconditionally and helps us to see our positives. She identifies our strengths and builds on the good that exists. The world loves darkness rather than light, and when we get hooked on the negatives, we can’t see the positives.
A friend is a cheerleader! Even though we may goof up at times, we need to know our friends are always in our corner, cheering us on.
A friend gives you the benefit of the doubt. God does this with us. Not that God winks at sin, but rather He calls it what it is and gives us a second chance. We should all be this way with our friends.
We are complex people, and the more complex we are the greater diversity we can expect in our friendships. Different friends fill different needs in our lives, and likewise, we can expect to fill different needs in the lives of our friends. We should never expect one person to meet all of our friendship needs. That’s a lot of pressure on one person. God is the only one who can meet all of our needs. However, one of the ways God meets our needs is to give us a variety of people in our lives.
But how many is too many? As Christians, we know we are to care about everyone, but where we trip up is in assuming we should be friends with everyone. That’s impossible. Genuine friendship takes time and energy and we are limited in those resources. We can value all the people God places in our lives. We can pray for them and love them. But we can’t expect true friendships with everyone.
Jesus, while on earth, had to deal with the same constraints we do. He offered a perfect model of friendship. Jesus developed deep friendships with a small handful of people. He chose twelve men to be with Him. Do you think He chose them only to build the kingdom of God? I don’t think so. I think he desired companionship as well. Of the twelve there were three He was especially close to and out of the three, there was one known as the disciple Jesus loved – John.
Can you think of others Jesus was close to while here on earth? What about Mary, Martha and Lazarus?
Jesus was limited by time when He walked the earth – just like we are. He couldn’t have deep friendships with everyone. But He loved and prayed for everyone including you and me.
So, to sum up. Friendship takes action on our part – to know, to care and to remember. It takes effort to listen, to lay ourselves aside, to give as much as we take. We are all blessed with friends and should be grateful to God for those special relationships.
Girls Teen Class – Spring 2008
Lesson 1
Friends. Where would we be without those special people in our lives that share our joys and sorrows, support and encourage us, understand us, and accept us unconditionally?
It has been said, “To have a good friend is one of the highest delights of life; to be a good friend is one of the noblest and most difficult undertakings.” While friendship can be filled with many joys, it can present its share of challenges as well. It doesn’t just happen - it takes effort and time.
While we might have learned the basics of friendship in kindergarten – don’t hit, share your toys, be nice – as adults we can attest that relationships involve more than following a few simple rules. God designed us with certain nurturing and relational gifts. Our need for friendship is much deeper than us just needing someone to play with like we did when we were kids. Even as teens you feel a strong need for friends.
Let’s read Proverbs 18:24:
“There are ‘friends’ who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
How do we develop those friendships like the one described in Proverbs? Are they going to seek us out? Maybe. More than likely, no. We must make friendship a priority and reach out to find those friends.
But, what is a good friend? Let’s read 1 Samuel 20. This is the story of David and Jonathan. I think this example is always used when discussing friendship but it’s a great story. A little background…David is fighting the Philistines for King Saul. David has found favor with the Lord and has been very successful in his battles. Saul at first is pleased and loves David. However, the people start chanting about Saul killing thousands and David killing tens of thousands. Saul becomes angry and wishes to kill David. So David flees. Now let’s read the rest of the story.
What are some characteristics of this friendship? Honesty, loyalty, love, respect, selflessness.
There are three actions we should remember when building genuine friendships: know, care and remember.
As we spend time with a person we naturally get to know them – we share our personal history, our birthday, our interests, etc. You have to care about this person to want to get to know them. And with the knowledge we have about them, we can then make an effort to remember those things that matter to that person. Remembering is often the hard part. When you remember, it shows you care.
Besides these intentional actions, we must realize that friendship is a two-way street. There has to be a mutual interest on both sides for this friendship to grow and develop. It can’t be lopsided. Each person in the friendship must be able to lean on the other – the nurturing attitude must go both ways. There are times when one person needs the other more – such as in times of crisis, so in that regard the friendship might be lopsided temporarily. But, in general, over time there needs to be a more equal amount of give-and-take in the friendship.
Now, what are some ways we can get to know a person and show we care?
One of the most important ways to do this is to listen. However, listening is most successful when we are able to lay ourselves aside. It takes discipline to put another person first and actually pay attention to the things they are saying.
Take for example, when you meet someone new. You are trying to make a good impression. During the conversation, we’re often thinking of what we we’ll say next. So, the person isn’t getting our full attention. We aren’t really listening and as a result we can’t remember what that person said. So, are you guilty of having trouble remembering the things said because you are too busy thinking about yourself and how you are being perceived? Are you more concerned about being perceived as a good friend or listener or are you actually being a friend and truly listening to the things being said?
Putting yourself second is a spiritual discipline of sorts. It’s a tough road to focus on the other person. God intended for us to serve others.
Let’s look at some expectations we should have of our friends or they should have from us:
A friend accepts you for who you are – she isn’t out to change you. We all have shortcomings but as friends, we should be willing to overlook them. However, honesty is important, and we shouldn’t overlook a fault it if it hindering our friend’s walk with Christ. Hopefully, you are close enough to that person to speak the truth in love. The main work of a friendship is not to fix one another but to affirm and encourage one another.
A friend accepts us unconditionally and helps us to see our positives. She identifies our strengths and builds on the good that exists. The world loves darkness rather than light, and when we get hooked on the negatives, we can’t see the positives.
A friend is a cheerleader! Even though we may goof up at times, we need to know our friends are always in our corner, cheering us on.
A friend gives you the benefit of the doubt. God does this with us. Not that God winks at sin, but rather He calls it what it is and gives us a second chance. We should all be this way with our friends.
We are complex people, and the more complex we are the greater diversity we can expect in our friendships. Different friends fill different needs in our lives, and likewise, we can expect to fill different needs in the lives of our friends. We should never expect one person to meet all of our friendship needs. That’s a lot of pressure on one person. God is the only one who can meet all of our needs. However, one of the ways God meets our needs is to give us a variety of people in our lives.
But how many is too many? As Christians, we know we are to care about everyone, but where we trip up is in assuming we should be friends with everyone. That’s impossible. Genuine friendship takes time and energy and we are limited in those resources. We can value all the people God places in our lives. We can pray for them and love them. But we can’t expect true friendships with everyone.
Jesus, while on earth, had to deal with the same constraints we do. He offered a perfect model of friendship. Jesus developed deep friendships with a small handful of people. He chose twelve men to be with Him. Do you think He chose them only to build the kingdom of God? I don’t think so. I think he desired companionship as well. Of the twelve there were three He was especially close to and out of the three, there was one known as the disciple Jesus loved – John.
Can you think of others Jesus was close to while here on earth? What about Mary, Martha and Lazarus?
Jesus was limited by time when He walked the earth – just like we are. He couldn’t have deep friendships with everyone. But He loved and prayed for everyone including you and me.
So, to sum up. Friendship takes action on our part – to know, to care and to remember. It takes effort to listen, to lay ourselves aside, to give as much as we take. We are all blessed with friends and should be grateful to God for those special relationships.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
caught red handed...
or wet handed!
Look closely and you'll see food floating in Khaki's water. Notice I stopped the video just as Charlie was putting food in his mouth. I had to make sure he didn't eat any! I'm sure this will become a staple in his diet no matter how hard I try and avoid it. Charlie won't eat food off his high chair tray but give him a big bowl of dog food and straight to the mouth it goes. Figures...
Look closely and you'll see food floating in Khaki's water. Notice I stopped the video just as Charlie was putting food in his mouth. I had to make sure he didn't eat any! I'm sure this will become a staple in his diet no matter how hard I try and avoid it. Charlie won't eat food off his high chair tray but give him a big bowl of dog food and straight to the mouth it goes. Figures...
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Neil
Daniel and I have a friend from Elba, Neil Grantham, that was in a terrible accident on Feb. 26th. He is still in critical condition and is still fighting with all his might. We lift him up many times in prayer and ask that each of you do the same. He continues to be on a ventilator and shows small signs of improvement but he's got a long way to go. The other car in the accident had two passengers, one of which was killed. Our hearts go out to this family. Neil's sister, Reese, graduated high school with Daniel and is a close friend of his and mine. Neil and his wife, DeAnn, also went to school with us. We know this family well and have a special place in our hearts for each one of them including Neil's parents. So, I'm asking for prayers on his behalf and for his family.
We love you Neil. Keep fighting!
We love you Reese, Lucia, Kenneth, and DeAnn! May you continue to lean on the Lord and all your family and friends for strength.
If anyone would like to keep up with Neil's condition, his family keeps a blog of each visit into the ICU...http://neilgrantham.blogspot.com/
We love you Neil. Keep fighting!
We love you Reese, Lucia, Kenneth, and DeAnn! May you continue to lean on the Lord and all your family and friends for strength.
If anyone would like to keep up with Neil's condition, his family keeps a blog of each visit into the ICU...http://neilgrantham.blogspot.com/
Thursday, March 6, 2008
first date
Daniel and I had our first night out without Charlie tonight. One of the girls in the youth group at church, Emma, is playing the lead role of Maria in West Side Story at her high school. We wanted to go see her perform. Luckily, the performances started on Thursday night. We have the youth rally at church Saturday which we are involved with. We knew we would be too exhausted from that to try and sit through a musical. We also have kids coming in from TN on Friday night that need housing, so we'll be at the church building to head that up and make sure they each have a place to sleep. So...Thursday night it is!
Charlie got to stay with my aunt and uncle in Canton. Penny, I know, was ecstatic that she got to keep him. Dale, I'm sure, was a little hesitant but I think he really enjoyed it. I'm sure it was strange having a little one in the house. I was really excited to get out and about for some time with adults. I love my little Charlie but that 24/7 thing gets old sometimes and you just need a break.
We went to the musical with Terry and Kathy. We were tight on time so we grabbed a quick bite at Wendy's before heading to the school. Fancy, I know! :)
The musical was at Sequoyah High School in Canton where, fortunately, my cousin Felicia also attends. So, I got to hear her in the orchestra for the musical. Both girls did a great job! I've been talking with Emma about her rehearsals along the way for the past few weeks so it was so much fun to see it all come to fruition.
I did well leaving Charlie. They asked everyone at the performance to turn off their cell phones. I wouldn't let Daniel turn ours off, just in case. It was on vibrate and in his pocket in case Dale and Penny needed us. At the intermission, I asked Daniel if he had checked the phone. He said, "No. It hasn't vibrated." I said, "Well did you atleast look at it to see if you missed a call." He just gave me that look and said, "no." I told him I was debating on calling to check in on Charlie, just to make sure everything was ok. He wouldn't let me. I wasn't worried about Dale and Penny taking care of him, I was just curious as to how he was doing without us there.
Things went fine. Charlie was asleep when we got there to pick him up. Penny said, to quote, "He ate like a little pig." He apparently ate all of his dinner and a little of theirs. I think Charlie has a hollow leg like his daddy. That's the only place I can figure out where he's putting all that food! Penny had gotten him a St. Patrick's Day/Easter stash. All the items were really cute, including the shamrock antennae. I'm sure there will be pictures to follow.
So, our first date since Charlie was born went well. I didn't freak out over leaving my child. I didn't even cry. It was, "Bye Charlie. Have fun!" and off we went. I did miss him though. I think it was just weird not having him with me. I'm so used to having him pretty much attached to me that when he's not, I feel weird.
The funniest part of the night to me was that I got to carry a purse instead of the diaper bag. It made me feel like a woman again instead of a mommy.
Charlie got to stay with my aunt and uncle in Canton. Penny, I know, was ecstatic that she got to keep him. Dale, I'm sure, was a little hesitant but I think he really enjoyed it. I'm sure it was strange having a little one in the house. I was really excited to get out and about for some time with adults. I love my little Charlie but that 24/7 thing gets old sometimes and you just need a break.
We went to the musical with Terry and Kathy. We were tight on time so we grabbed a quick bite at Wendy's before heading to the school. Fancy, I know! :)
The musical was at Sequoyah High School in Canton where, fortunately, my cousin Felicia also attends. So, I got to hear her in the orchestra for the musical. Both girls did a great job! I've been talking with Emma about her rehearsals along the way for the past few weeks so it was so much fun to see it all come to fruition.
I did well leaving Charlie. They asked everyone at the performance to turn off their cell phones. I wouldn't let Daniel turn ours off, just in case. It was on vibrate and in his pocket in case Dale and Penny needed us. At the intermission, I asked Daniel if he had checked the phone. He said, "No. It hasn't vibrated." I said, "Well did you atleast look at it to see if you missed a call." He just gave me that look and said, "no." I told him I was debating on calling to check in on Charlie, just to make sure everything was ok. He wouldn't let me. I wasn't worried about Dale and Penny taking care of him, I was just curious as to how he was doing without us there.
Things went fine. Charlie was asleep when we got there to pick him up. Penny said, to quote, "He ate like a little pig." He apparently ate all of his dinner and a little of theirs. I think Charlie has a hollow leg like his daddy. That's the only place I can figure out where he's putting all that food! Penny had gotten him a St. Patrick's Day/Easter stash. All the items were really cute, including the shamrock antennae. I'm sure there will be pictures to follow.
So, our first date since Charlie was born went well. I didn't freak out over leaving my child. I didn't even cry. It was, "Bye Charlie. Have fun!" and off we went. I did miss him though. I think it was just weird not having him with me. I'm so used to having him pretty much attached to me that when he's not, I feel weird.
The funniest part of the night to me was that I got to carry a purse instead of the diaper bag. It made me feel like a woman again instead of a mommy.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
10 months old!
Charlie is now 10 months old. That year mark is approaching so fast! My little baby Charlie is turning into my little boy Charlie. He's on the move...however, still on his belly. Not much more has developed since his 9 month update. He's just perfecting the skills he has like dadada and bababa. Still no mamama. One day...
He's getting a little more balance when he's standing. He pulled up on the couch all by himself the other day. He has to be facing it directly though in order to accomplish it. We went through a period a couple of weeks ago where Charlie was waking up during the night and wouldn't go back to sleep unless he had somebody with him, either in our bed or rocking in the chair. As soon as we would put him back in his crib, we would immediately wake up. We started letting him cry it out again in hopes that he would learn to put himself back to sleep rather than depending on one of us. And, luckily, it worked and rather quickly which was so nice.
Charlie is eating well. I've taken to dicing his food instead of mashing it. However, this takes FOREVER! So, I just take a night and sit in front of the TV, dicing. I'm really missing the pureed stage where I could put it all in the food processor, hit the button, and wala, it's ready to go in the cube tray. Oh well...
We've had some nice weather so I got Charlie outside to take his pictures. When the weather is nice, I try and get out in the back yard with Charlie and play with the dog. I was taking pictures of Charlie, but he kept watching Khaki run around playing with her ring. I did manage to get a few good ones and got a cute one with the dog.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Charlie's first trip to Jalapenos
On our way to Elba Friday night, we stopped to eat at Jalapenos. This is Daniel's favorite Mexican restaurant. When I lived in Montgomery, we ate there almost every weekend. We've really missed this place since we moved to GA. I took a quick video to commemorate the event.
Charlie and Big
We went to Elba this past weekend to visit all our family. My brother-in-law made family pictures at my sister-in-law's house. I hope to post some of those pictures soon. In the meantime, I got a great picture of Charlie with his great grandmother. I hate I didn't get her looking at the camera but I think she prefers it that way. :)
She has the best time playing with Charlie. He was really good for her this visit. Usually, he gets kinda fussy so I was glad when he just sat in her lap and played.
She has the best time playing with Charlie. He was really good for her this visit. Usually, he gets kinda fussy so I was glad when he just sat in her lap and played.
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